I am crying in silence. I have no one here to catch the tears as the fall. No one to hold me. No one to console me. It makes me feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. Because I speak my mind and don’t hold back I am forced to bare it all alone. What happened to the love that was there just 2 weeks ago??? What happened to all the effort, time and emotion that I put into what we had. Why was I abandoned? Why is it okay in this society to do something like this to another human being? If I retaliated to make myself feel better then I would be in the wrong. How is this fair? Why did I play myself and keep going back? Why did I ever drop my guard for you? He clearly was not deserving of it. He abused everything I handed over to him. Everything. I have never been filled with so much silent fury…I swear I think I have written all of these things before. I gave everything and now I have nothing left. The sad thing is he won’t even give it back to me. He won’t give me my heart back. He won’t give it back. There is only so much I can reclaim on  my own. He won’t give it back to me.  There is nothing worse then a bitch who won’t face you like the man his testicles would lead unsuspecting people to believe he is. There are so many things I want to do or say that I can’t do or say because I am an adult and I am working on my growth more and more each day. I shouldn’t regress into childish behavior.

I AM SO MAD. I hate you. Your mother is a special kinda FAILURE for raising such a shitty piece of nothing like you. Your grandmother is a bitch who got exactly what she deserved. Your dad is the only one with any balls in your family and you hate him for it. Shame on you. Grow a pair.  That felt good to say. I know you are reading this. Now that you know my true feelings please drop dead for me. That is the only thing that would bring me joy. Try doing something to make me happy for once.  It would be so greatly appreciated.